Isn't That Crazy???

"In a sky full of people, only some want to fly. Isn't that crazy?" -- SEAL

Listening to Seal's Crazy this morning, I was aware of how crazy it really is that only some of us wish to fly. It must be my own midlife awareness of mortality that has me thinking about regrets, and life, and what it is we’re all doing here. I believe that most of us, if we were to thoughtfully reflect on this idea, would want to live the best possible life we could during our short stay on this planet. Yet, how many people actually take the time to reflect on what this best-possible-life would look like for them? And how many fewer people take the courageous, and admittedly risky, steps to get there? My experience is that only a very small segment of the population is currently journeying to actualize such a life, let alone actually flying.

I consider myself one of the inhabitants of the sky who, in fact, wishes to fly. I don’t want to get stuck tethered to the ground for the rest of my life. Images of spreading my wings to fly, with the freedom to visit the clouds and the moon, fill my soul. And I know that if I do this I will make the world a better place and help others on their journeys to flight as well. Yet, with all of this knowledge, and with a passionate desire, something keeps me stuck. This something, I am sadly learning, is a lack of faith: A lack of a belief that this is attainable for me. The realization is particularly sad given my Piscean nature. I have a shit-load of planets and asteroids in Pisces in my natal chart, including the Sun, Moon, North Node, and Venus. The fishes motto is “I believe,” and I do believe in others. I see the potential in others quite easily and I have faith in their capacity to fly. As a therapist, I hold that vision for the individuals I work with when they can’t see it themselves, and I give it over to them when they are ready to open their eyes to this potential. And then I watch them fly.

When it comes to my own life, though, faith in the capacity to rise above is no where to be found. There is a refrain that repeats, now just on the border of consciousness, singing a reminder that I cannot create the life I wish to lead. Less conscious, most of the time, are the reasons: It’s selfish, others need you to be there for them, flying is a threat to those who don’t, your not beautiful enough, etc. It’s one of the few songs that I strongly dislike. Yet for some reason, I listen.

I recently described these limiting beliefs to a friend as my internal glass ceiling. I can see the sky through it, and I even envision myself getting there, but keep bumping up against the glass as soon as I try.

I believe all of us have our own version of a glass ceiling. There are always words that go along with it, expressing the beliefs that form the ceiling: “You can’t --- because ----.” It’s worth reflecting on what your personal glass ceiling is saying to you and working to make this as conscious as possible. Once these beliefs are conscious—that is, once we’re aware of it—we can evaluate how accurate these beliefs are. We can actually set up experiments in our life to test these beliefs. I encourage folks to start small. Open your heart just a bit wider with a trusted friend and see what happens. Get that massage you’ve been wanting and see if the world in fact tells you that you are selfish. Ask a friend to watch your kids and see if the sky really does fall. It is with such baby steps that we can begin to question those long-held, but often false, beliefs and start to break-up the glass that keeps us down. It is risky. And it takes courage. And it’s the only way toward that flight you’ve been wanting to take.