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“I wanna have control
I wanna perfect body
I wanna perfect soul..." Radiohead
What if life were meaningless? What if our desires for the perfect soul didn't matter? What if we really didn't belong here, if we were just here for a meaningless ride? There are of course people who believe this, and some theories of enlightenment seem to me to extend into this when taken to their natural conclusion. I'm referring to a sort of meaninglessness that is more bland than the kind of nihilism studied in Philosophy 101.
Personally, I don't get it; though when I imagine this as a possibility it's somewhat freeing, even if boring. It doesn't matter if I sit home and sharpen pencils or try to facilitate healing for individuals in counseling. Why not sharpen pencils, or fold towels, or shuffle cards? I could listen to music all day while doing so and could give up the quest for whatever it is I'm doing here on this earth. There is something appealing about this.
Would I be happy within meaninglessness? I'll have to answer this question at a later time-- I'm about to try it for awhile.
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2 comments:
I don't get it either - but its fertile ground for contemplation. Sometimes my activities, my life, seem purposeful and directed --- meaningful in at least some of the ways that term resonates with me -- if on a smaller scale that I had imagined in my adolescence. At that time, becoming Pope seemed intriguing when I was 7; his world was dramatic, myselterious, and powerful.
Other days I think - my God, if I dropped dead today would this be it. What was the point? Do I have enough to show for it? And at that point, who would care anyway.....so why am I bothering myself with these questions in the first place?
I remember one person told me half the batter at work is just showing up. I think I heard the same thing phrased in terms of like - half the battle is just showing up. For some reason, I take some strenght and meaning from that along - that dogged ability to just show up. Stubborness in the face of a meaningless universe becomes the meaning itself. So - show up, on your own terms, when and where you want as best we can, and that's half the battle. I don't know what the other half is -- that's for another time...... Keep us posted on your journey!
Becoming Pope! Now that's a dream. Whereas my initial reaction to advice like "just show up" would usually be something like: You're kidding me?! Where's the fun or meaning or drive or purpose in that? But my very next, quick thought is: Yes! That's exactly what I want to be doing. I want to be present wherever I am. A while ago, I started paying attention to this. I made a commitment to really be present to/for anyone with whom I was engaged-- even a quick exchange with a store clerk. It's not always easy for me, thoug I keep at it. And I love the advice to show up on my own terms-- something that deep down below the surface I don't always believe it is my right to do. And to do so stubbornly, which is something I do know how to do!
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