Cest la vie

Feeling stuck in life continues. I've tried every way out of the box I know how, to no avail. Today I ended a rather brief course of therapy with a therapist who basically agreed that I'm between a rock and a hard place. My hope was that he would help me to see through myself... that we'd uncover an insight I was missing that would unlock something, would unblock the dam, would allow me to start feeling alive again. He confirmed that there was no such key.

So I'm trying to accept that this is just my life. It's hard. To believe, that is. I just can't understand that the universe would want me to give up my dreams. It feels cruel to me. I'm a Pisces- "I believe." The motto of the fishes.

I know people talk about getting to the place of giving up completely; of having nothing left to loose; and that something opens up from there. Today, I have no hope of this.

I write to have a record, to get it out, to in some way try to connect with something other than myself.